No Really. You're NOT Fine.

I've been trained for this.  Trained well in fact.

You can't plan for when these skills will be needed.  Or, more accurately, when your body will spring into action and switch to auto-pilot.  Today was one of those days.

I thought I was just going to the grocery store to pick up a few items to make soup.  God, The Universe, Higher Being or whatever you call the Higher Power had other plans for me.

A long line of traffic, nothing surprising about that, except that when I finally passed through the intersection, there was a car that appeared to have hit a semi which was stopped at the light and a man laying on the ground motionless.  A large crowd was gathering, but no one was doing anything, just standing there staring. 

I pulled over, maybe even parked on the sidewalk, I'm not sure, grabbed my cell phone, calling 911 as I was running, describing my location and what I was seeing.

The well-dressed man was blue.  I don't mean shades of pale or a little grey, he was blue.   And yet, everyone was staring.  I shoved through the crowd, dropping my phone somewhere along the way and went into auto pilot.

ABCs.

Airway- yes

Breathing- yes, although shallow and sporadic

Circulation- weak, thready pulse

I began to vigorously stimulate his sternum in an attempt to illicit a pain response. 

Nothing.

I continued as I instructed someone to help me find some sort of medical ID tag.  None.

Someone found his wallet and a spoon and needle in the passenger seat of the car.  I had a name to work with which was more than I had before, I repeated his name over and over as I tried to get him to show some signs of response.

I know how these things usually end when someone overdoses. He was dressed in business clothing, not who you'd peg for a drug user.

Where is the ambulance already???

I kept on, maintained the airway and rubbed his sternum for all I was worth.  If he was going, it wasn't without a fight from me.  

Then his eyes fluttered.  He opened his eyes for the briefest second and was gone again. 

I continued my fight.  So intense was I in this fight that I never heard the sirens of the firetrucks, ambulance and police cars as they rolled up. 

One of the paramedics literally lifted me away and was saying, "We're here now, let us take over and do our job."

I stood back with the rest of the crowd and watched, praying for a good outcome. 

As more of the story came out regarding the events before I arrived, it became apparent what had happened.  One girl was an absolute hero; he had slumped over the wheel and as a pedestrian, she ran got the door to his car open and was trying to get the car stopped by pulling on the emergency brake as it was rolling out into swiftly moving traffic of this five-lane, major thoroughfare.

The paramedics worked on him, injecting something, narcan if I had to guess, and he sat straight up and stared at me.  Looking directly in his eyes, I said his name.

"I'm fine.  I'm just fine," came his response to no one in particular.

He was loaded up and taken away.  I was questioned by the police and paramedics.  As my body was exiting auto-pilot mode, I began to cry, why, I don't know.

They were asking if I was okay.  I said, "I felt like I didn't do enough."


The fire department Captain gave me his card and said, "There are no certainties in this, only probabilities.  And today, you probably saved his life."

I still feel like I didn't do enough and wish I knew his outcome.